Who are You?

         The smallest question with 
                             the longest answer...



'Who are you?' This is the most frequently asked question you encounter in your life. 'Tell me about yourself' or 'Introduce yourself' are other variations of this question. Heck, even facebook asks you to describe yourself under a section called 'About you'. Wherever you go, whoever you meet, this is the first question to be addressed. Only after that, you move on to other topics of discussion.

When we answer this question, our first response is our name. But, is that your identity? Your name? Is that all that you are? There are many people with the same name as mine, but they are not all me. So my name can't be who I am. At most, it can only be a little part of who I am.

My face and this body that I live in are the first things that anyone who sees me notices. They see my height, my weight, my skin colour and all other such physical attributes. So, do my physical features define who I am? I don't think so. No, they don't. These don't tell you anything about me, so no, this is not just who I am. But my expressions, my movements and my aura do tell you a little about me but only if you pay really close attention. Great observation is required to receive and interpret these subtle signs and only a few people bother enough to do so. So, the subtler physical features are a part of my identity.

Now suppose you are in a job interview and the interviewer asks you about yourself, then how do you respond? You tell them your name, qualifications, degrees and other things of the like. So, does that mean that you are your degrees? But, there are so many more things you do, can do, want to do, are learning to do that has no relation with all of these degrees. Are those of zero value? No, they are not. I would even go as far as saying that those are of more value since you did these for yourself, without any greed of a 'degree' to show off, because you put your heart into it and loved doing it. So, the things you do also become a part of who you are, even though degrees don't. For instance, your understanding of engineering is a part of you, but your B.Tech degree is not. It is the knowledge that matters, not a piece of paper.

Now, you meet someone at a company or business party. What do you tell them? You tell them about your job, the department you work in. So, for them you become 'The DGM from the Marketing Department'. Is that all you are? Do you become a non entity outside of work? What happens once you leave your workplace? You are still here, alive, breathing, thinking, present. You are here and you still do have an identity. Maybe not the one of the tag of 'The DGM', but something. So, your work, again, just becomes a part of who you are, not your complete identity.

In a family function, maybe, everyone won't know your name or other particulars about you. How do they know you? They know you as his son or her daughter or her husband or his wife. The children know you as his/her father/mother. So, are you your relations? Are you just that? A father, a husband, a mother or a wife? No, you are beyond that. You are so much more too. That doesn't mean that your relationships with others are meaningless. These are important, but these are not the only things that you are. So, again, relationships become a part of you.

You must have opinions about various issues. Your thoughts and opinions about everything is your brain child. When you have conversations with people about these things, then they start relating you with your thoughts and that is fair enough. These thoughts, thus, become a part of you. But, no one can know each and every thought that ever crossed your mind, except you. Your feelings for various people, about different issues and in all your situations are a huge part of you. Since you are human, your feelings govern your thoughts and actions. This makes your feelings a great part of who you are too. You might attempt to talk about your feelings to others and they might even empathize or sympathize with you, but they can't ever feel exactly what you are feeling. So, these feelings become a very intimate part of you. I think that the thoughts in your mind and the feelings in your heart are the greatest part of your soul's identity.

So, finally, who are you? Are you your name, or are you your face and body, or is it your expressions that you are, or are you your degrees or works or knowledge, or your job or relationships or are your thoughts, opinions and feelings your identity?
You are none of the above alone. You are all of these and a lot more simultaneously. You are a combination of so many things, both little and large that you could write a book as the answer to this and yet not be done because you find new things about you everyday. And guess what, no one else can tell you who you are. It is only you who can decide that. And even more, no one can know you as well as you do. Doesn't matter how close you are to them, how much you have told them about yourself or how observant they have been. You are the only one who knows you. Actually, that's all that you need too. You don't need anyone else to know you. You need only yourself. And everyday, you will find new, beautiful, mysterious, unique parts of you to love. Never stop discovering yourself and never worry about what others think you are. The only opinion that matters is that you have of yourself. So, keep on finding new rooms of your soul to fill with your love. Cheers to the magic that you are.


Till next time, yours
Pragya :)

Little to Strong

A little girl of 12.

Her body is changing and she knows why.

She has read about it in school

and her mother said that it'll happen to her soon.

But, there are other changes she doesn't understand.

Why is she stared at wherever she goes?

Not only her face, but also her body.

Why do they look at her that way?

She is uncomfortable and wants to hide.

A girl of 13.

She is in a train, happy,

returning from a nice vacation with family.

The train is still and she's near the door, alone.

A guy comes, hits her chest and gets off the train in less than five seconds.

She is left, alone again, in shock and denial.

Only this time, the loneliness is more profound.

She locks herself in the washroom, cries, washes her shirt 'cause she feels violated.

Then pretends as if nothing happened.

A girl of 14.

She is shopping for a new jacket.

The salesman is helping her with the stubborn zip.

But, only she knows what's going on behind the cover.

How his fingers press down hard on her above her jeans.

He smirks at her then, as if he owns her, but she knows he doesn't.

She leaves immediately.

It hurts down there for days.

A girl of 15.

It is a pleasant evening.

She is strolling around with a friend, by her home, her safe haven.

A bike approaches too close to them.

He gropes her friend and speeds away.

She tries to be brave and shouts after him.

But, deep down, she's scared.

A girl of 16.

She is cycling off to the nearest shop.

The road is deserted except for one man.

He whistles at her and gestures towards his unzipped pants.

She cycles away faster, afraid of what he might do next.

She takes a different, longer route back home.

A girl of 17.

She is in a crowded metro.

She feels a hand on her waist and something else on her lower back.

Before she could react,

the doors open and there's a rush.

She gets off and walks home, numb.

A strong girl of 18.

She is walking down the road.

Not scared at all, just wary.

She is on her toes now, wherever she goes.

No one will ever catch her off guard now.

No one will ever take advantage of the element of surprise,

or the suddenness of attack.

She knows that not all men are same,

but she doesn't know which ones are.

She won't be scared ever again.

She will stand up for herself, always.

She just misses being carefree.

She is forced to be alert all the time

and subject everyone to the scrutiny gaze.

But, that is the sacrifice she has to be willing to make.

Wishful Imagery

I imagined a world;

With no boundaries

And no countries,

No wars

And no violence.

I imagined a world;

That had one God

And various ways of life,

But no religions

And no religious fights.

I imagined a world;

Full of humanity

And compassion,

Where people were kind

And full of passion.

I imagined a world;

Where love was freely given

And hatred never made an appearance,

Where different was not strange

And unity in diversity was claimed.

I imagined a world;

Where there was no fear

And everyone was loyal,

Where there were no set standards of beauty

And everyone was pretty.

I imagined a world;

In which development was sustainable

And people were responsible,

Where Mother Earth did not suffer

And ozone layer did not crumble.

I imagined a world;

Which may exist in a parallel universe

But is forgotten in this creation;

Maybe it will be tomorrow's reality

Or just remain my wishful imagery.

Stigmatized sadness

            It's okay to be
                                not okay....

Sadness is a very under-rated emotion. One will pretend to be happy and smiling even if he is unhappy or broken or crying inside. Being sad is considered as something undesirable by society. But it is not. It is okay if you are unhappy once in a while. You don't have to be happy all the time. No sane person can be.


We are scared to admit that we are sad as we think that no one will understand. For instance, you tell someone that you aren't in a good mood and there he goes saying that you should be happy, just move on from whatever is causing you unhappiness. 'Why?', I ask. Why can't I just feel sadness as profoundly as I feel happiness? Why do I have to rush through this feeling? Even worse than this is the fear of being labelled as 'uncool' or 'loser' or 'depressed'. Instead, I think it is quite brave to be able to accept sadness in a world where it is considered a taboo. 


In fact, I think we should let ourselves feel pain and sadness very profoundly. It is when we are upset that we discover the deepest facets of our character and persona. It is in these sad moments when we reflect deeply on our lives, our actions and the changes that we want. These moments make us who we are today.


We, humans, have a huge range of emotions for a purpose. We need to explore all of these feelings and not be ashamed of even a single one of them. So, lovelies, feel free to feel everything without any shame and end the stigma attached to sadness.


Till next time, yours
Pragya :)

Virtual Reality

       Social media is after all
                                  virtual reality....

Social media is the place where people nowadays spend most of their time. They share everything on social media. What they are doing; who they are doing it with; where did they go. Everything. Social media, being a virtual platform, does not seem so real to people. But it is as real as the nose in the middle of your face.

Whatever we say on social media, our tweets, our facebook status updates etc. are our real thoughts. There are simple mannerisms that are not taken care of on social media. For example, if in real life someone comes over to you and says something to you then you won't just listen to him and walk away; you will reply, but, on social media it is acceptable to not reply. It is not okay. It is just as hurtful as it would have been in real life.

The other thing that is just as real is social media bullying. Bullying is painful even if only done on social media. This fact is usually not realised by the people on the sending end but it is excruciating for the people on the receiving end. There have been many instances of depression and even suicide among teenagers due to cyber bullying. Adolescents do it for fun without realising how fatal it can be.

Internet is a very powerful tool which is used to voice really serious concerns and take a stand for what one believes in. When these issues are taken seriously and are important even if only talked about on social media then why aren't the above mentioned little mannerisms important? Teasing, making fun of or ignoring someone on the Internet is equivalent to that in real life situations. 

Even I am guilty of these situations without realising the effect on the other person. Now that I come to think of it, I realise how wrong (read rude) I was. I will try my best to never indulge in anything like this again and I hope that you beautiful people will also. Just try to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes (or sandals) before doing or saying anything. That way, you won't hurt anyone ever again. 


Till next time, yours
Pragya :)

Child for Life

              A child at heart....

                                ..... Forever

Yes, I want to remain a child. Forever. I never want to grow up. Never want to become an adult. No, I'm not saying this because I'm afraid of responsibilities. I also know that physically, this wish of mine cannot be fulfilled. But, emotionally it can be. That emotional childishness is what I want in my life. 

Children are so pure hearted and honest. They cry when they are sad and laugh when they are happy. That is how I wish we could all be. I wish that no one was scared of expressing their feelings; no one felt the need to hide their emotions. I'm not saying that everyone has to be an open book. You don't need to tell everyone the reasons behind your sadness or happiness. I just wish that we did not pretend. Just stay honest to self.


A child has a very compassionate and trusting heart. Have you ever pretended to cry in front of a child? The little one becomes so compassionate and  tries to wipe away the tears that aren't even there. I wish to be that compassionate. Also, i want to be so trusting that anyone would feel guilty to deceit me. I know that such blind trust isn't wise. But i don't want to be doubtful of everything. Compassion and trust help people build strong, long-lasting relationships.


A child's mind is open to everything. He is ready to accept and explore new ideas. He doesn't have set boundaries like adults. He is not yet conditioned to believe certain ideas and boundaries set by society. He loves everyone irrespective of colour, creed or status in society. I want to be like that. I want to give lots of love and accept people just the way they are, without any set bias or prejudice.


We all were exactly like this when we were kids. If we really want then we can remain a child for our whole life. I certainly want to and am going to try to remain like this. I hope you do too.


Till next time, yours
Pragya :)

Timeless...

Age is just a number......
                      Really??

Someone recently said to me that age is just a number and 'too young' is just a name in China. This made me think. Is it so? Is that really all that age is? I don't think so.

Sure, there are situations where age does not matter. Situations like what should one wear or how should one feel. For instance when my mother says that she can't wear something that she likes and that will look good on her just because it is not 'appropriate' for her age. That is when i feel like saying that age is just a number. Same goes for people who want to learn something new or go on an adventure. One should never let age become a barrier. 

But, there is more value to age. It gives us experience; something that nothing else can provide. Now there are exceptions to everything. Of course there are people out there who have experienced more in their younger ages than most people do in their entire lives. I am not talking about those special souls with their extraordinary lives. I am talking about people with quiet, average lives like mine. 

We gain experience with age. We observe the world, understand the bit of it in our limited time and change these into experiences with age. Don't you ever think about a past instance and think that you would have reacted differently, had you been more experienced? Have you noticed that older people see things from a much different perspective than you and understand people better? That is the reason why we go to them for advice, right? They have experienced; they know. They see people. Not just their faces, but what they are from inside. How many times does this happen that your parents or elder siblings tell you to stay away from a particular person, but you do not listen to them and end up having to admit that they were right? Happens to all of us. 

Isn't it amazing, all that experience teaches us? So, I refuse to believe that age is just a number. Always respect the more experienced elder people. They haven't acquired the status of 'aged people' by doing nothing.



Till next time, yours
Pragya :)

P.S.-  No offence to the Chinese people.